great words from the worlds coolest chef

"If you stick with it, something great is going to happen. You have to be patient." - Susur Lee

these tears

that feeling when you watch the clock, but time seems to purposely slow down for you instead. & the thing about time is that no matter how hard you wish for it to slow down or speed up, you're stuck in the present. you're stuck feeling everything that the present has put in front of you. you can only hope that it gets better from here.

this fucking sucks

he says

everything will be fine.

questions

let's see what can i talk about today..

i couldn't sleep last night
i woke up early
i thought about how unfair our relationship really was
i thought about how i was still willing to be with you even if things were unfair
i looked at my phone and saw that you didn't message me
i looked at myself in the mirror and did my hair
i made myself a coffee
and now i'm sitting here.

why did we have to break up the same week that i have a paper due?
and why did you keep saying that things were fine?
oh my i am a mess

too many mind

Apparently the key to a relationship is to take things at face value and not over think things...

To me "ugh" means "why the hell are you hassling me"
"If you want" means "I don't want to but u are asking so I have no choice but to say yes"
"Ic" means "I don't have anything to say cause I don't care"

U get my drift? I don't know how to stop myself from reading too much into things...

Sigh

calm down - cosmic gate ft. emma hewitt

calm down your nervous state, i'll sing you a lullaby
calm down there's no mistake to keep you up all night
fall down here with me, baby we'll be alright
baby we'll be alright

building a broken bridge

love is stupid, it makes you do stupid things. like no matter how unfair things may seem to me, i still want to be your right hand and help you through everything. i want to support you because when we decided to be together i vowed to help you and be with your for everything. maybe it's because i've seen relationships where people gave up so easily. i think now, people take advantage of love, marriage and divorce. it shouldn't be about money, personal gain, or due to loneliness. it should be about being there for each other, protecting each other, helping and caring for one another. loving each other. all i want to do is love. give out love. and support you with everything you want to do.

i just don't know why you find it so hard to do the same.

listen

we'll build a fortress, to keep them out

& in a world gone silent, i'll be your sound

and if they try to hurt you, i'll tear them down

i'm always with you, now.

ez

fuel for fire, no more

sleeplessnights

it's just so hard to stay mad. sigh

i am the queen of passive agressiva.

and so we do as we are told, nothing.

backwards

it's so easy to just smile than to take off the mask that holds it all together, yes that would mean that i am a coward. oh how i wish to not be this way.

Tuesdays with Morrie

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.

Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said 'Love is the only rational act." - Morrie

instructions on how to be successful

charlie brown teaches kids PMS

some call me crazy

sometimes the most important thing is to go through your feelings. let them out. experience them. and then once you feel those emotions, you will realize whether or not they were logical. i like to cry. i like to laugh. i like to get as mad as i possibly can, and then cry some more. but somehow after these emotional episodes, i can regain my composure and think about why i was feeling that way.

today i felt like i was unimportant. that whatever i thought mattered was an afterthought to him. but somehow, in the mist of getting upset, wanting to cry, and being hurt.. i let it go and realized nothing matters because we're together.

i'm hopeless.

what do you expect?

im just being paranoid and overreacting because, well im a crazy psycho girlfriend who would like to know what your doing where your doing it and who you're doing it with at all times because it makes me feel just a wee little more secure knowing that you aren't sneaking around behind my back even though you've given no indication of ever doing that.

deep breath

i guess it's that time in the relationship where ive realized i want this thing to be long term. so then why do i keep on psyching myself out?

a little bit of give, a little bit of take