zZzzz

i've decided to write more MORE MORE more MORE!

finally. sleep.. so nice.. so comfy.. so .. soo..so.. so .. zzzzzzz.

i was thinking to myself today.. it's really time to accept and let go. be happy with what i have, and move forward. cause i can only be the best i can be, and be hopeful that someone will realize that in me one day and love me for ME.

and till then, i will work and strive to be better than i am now.. which is.. not very good at all considering i've decided to sloth myself into .. a huge pigsty of a room..

i should start posting pictures... i like little j's blog it's very cute :) .. my blog needs a..

MAKEOVER MAKE OVER.. MAKE. OV ER! (clone high reference anyone?)

okay. passingout. GOODNIGHT. i will work on my bloggy tmr :)

- j

no no, i insist.

.. you jump off first.

oh, well don't mind if I help you out. Pushing makes you fall faster.

I promise.

:)

hurrah

i went to sleep at 4:45 am this morning.. AND was late for class because i slept in.

HORRAY FOR ME! im sitting in fouth floor edu..on a comfy couch.. but i have tutorial in 45 mins.. so i'll just wait till work to get comfy :)

last night i had a dream.. about love. YEP. dreams about love.. oh what fun right? the healing process is slow. but it will come by..

i still feel like im connected. ya so emo right? bah.. i dont even know what to think.. haha im frazzled. BUT that could be because im lacking sleep.. and i had this soup that tasted a bit funky.. HMM.

im excited to go out this weekend. im excited this paper is over with. OH GO I HOPE I GET OVER A C. :) i need to clean, bake, work.. i need to do a lot of things.

most of all.. i need to just bee haaaaaappy. i am. im content. im just sad when i think about what could have been. that's all ... promise!

big things man.. big things to come ^^. wow i am way too bubbly sometimes .. bwhaha

- j

turn it off

"and the worst part is before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff; and in the free fall i realize i'm better off when i hit the bottom"

paramore is my favorite band. mmHmmm!

i am naive.

i believe everyone is good, and no one lies. and that everyone.. is well caring and loving for the benefit of the relationship and not for their selfish desires.

this world is so complicated.. im lucky i have a select few who i can trust..

faith fails me every once in a while.. but that's why we hope for better things to come right?

.. also i dropped my bb for the first time today.. im devastated.. *sigh*

im not going to sleep tonight because i have to finish my paper..and i have a lab at 8 am.. oh god. i am so screwed...

bahHhhhh. i complain a lot hey? my mom noticed this.. when things go my way.. i am ecstatic, but when they go off track.. im the moodiest piece of poo ever made on earth.. .hmm. things to work on. my attitude and my stubborness.

ugh. my poor phone :(.. oh well. lol A+ nursing paper here i come! (HA!) more like b+ lol.

good night everyone.. good morning to some.. and well no sleep for me tonight. :P

- j

an update on life.

ugghhh. the coffee i made myself this morning was much too strong.. now my brain hurts...

anyways. an update on life? deleted c off of bbm & he beat me to deleting on fb. ya...

we got in a fight yesterday. yep. we fight when we're not even together. how dysfunctional right? oh well. he lets me in..then pushes me away..then lets me step in a little closer than pushes me away.. stringing me along until he realizes what he really wants.. which is.. who knows what.

so i've cut it off. no more. really. NO MORE. as my friend little J says "he knows where you live, you have a phone, email, msn. its the 21st century. if he wants you, he'll find you!"

so away i go. away from him even though all i want to do is be with this person. lame RIGHT? haha oh lurve, how unbelievably silly you are. time to move on and be happy .. finally :)

paper writing.. how amazing you are. focus on school.. friends.. family and life. right?.. even though we all know ill be back on here complaining away about how unhappy i am in a couple of hours.

are we all not just a little bit dysfunctional?

.. and life goes on.

- j

wow...

so good.. so pretty... so *pink