when you think things are finally over..

they aren't.

burning out.

i am burning out.

- j (image via weheartit)

i have nothing better to post as of yet...

school, work, school work.. homework. assignments and on top of that.. "person".. is .. confusing! oh my life is a big box of confuddled thoughts. so much to do.. so little time.. so little sleep.

this next month is going to drive me tomatoes.

this is what i did last night and today.. my case presentation concept map on rh alloimmunization and breech presentation. cute right? mmmm. (like my stack of timmy's? i won a donut. :D) k off to shower. clinical till ten tonight. :(

- j

loss.

"To lose your parents is to lose your past, to lose your spouse is to lose your present, and to lose your child is to lose your future."

- found in my nursing notes.

- j

my attempt to study..

i have two nursing exams following reading week...

laptop, notes, highlighter, artery clogging snack, caffein and cell phone.

all i need now is motivation....

- j

nurses are the hope*

Think how rare is 'completeness' or 'wholeness' of mind and body. If each man finds good health a challenging goal, think how difficult it is. For the nurse to help him reach it she must, in a sense get 'inside the skin' of each of her patients in order to know not only what he wants but also what he needs to maintain life and regain health. She is temporarily the consciousness of the unconscious, the love of life for the suicidal, the leg of the amputee, the eyes of the newly blind, a means of locomotion for the infant, knowledge and confidence for the young mother, a voice for those too weak or withdrawn to speak, and so on... (Henderson 1955)

nursing quotes for the win. virginia henderson is a theorist that i'm researching for my case study. her 'theory' is the 14 fundamental needs. I found this one quote to be true. (:

- j

smile.

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again.. Hugging my teddy bear.. Playing in the yard and scared of little monsters. My parents hugging me... And. Just... Being oblivious to anything and everything. Smiling because .. Just because I can.

But I'm not a kid. And sometimes I smile, just to stop the tears.

Life does not imitate art and no, snow patrol does not start playing in the background after a surgery.

People get hurt everyday, people need help every day. Everyday people give up their own lives to keep others safe and breathing.

Tears, sweat, blood.. Everyday. This happens, and all of this happens.. So that everyday someone can smile.

If I can't help myself, the least I can do is help someone else. Right? ... Wow emosauce lol.

- j

(Note: grey's anatomy ... That's all I have to say)

just one of those nights.

amazing weather for september. 34 degrees?! who would have thought.. butt i spent my day working, schooling, and now sitting in kc trying not to do my hw and waiting for SM to bring me my tea. SOoo tired. i would much rather you get me something to eat SM. !!! but.. i guess we're on the same plane of epic fail at saving monies together.

i was driving down my neighbourhood (before i embarked on my journey to campus) and i dont think i saw as many people walking outside during the summer than i did today. it was like.. everyone wanted to take in the last bit of nice weather before autumn decides to finally set in. mmm. it was warm.. toasty.. quiet.. relaxing.. blah. lol. the sky was slowly turning to night and i could see the twinkling of twilight. (ahHAHhahha.. i just HAD to say that.. HAD TO.) anyways.. the starry night reminded me of something.

this one thing. that has been bothering me for the past couple of days and that's probably going to give me a hernia. mmmmm. ya. epic fail right L? can't stop thinking about it. it sorta gets in the way of everything. well not EVERYTHING. but.. its.. restricting in some ways. but i guess that's my own fault ...?

i'm so glad i have work and school to keep my mind super occupied. and by super.. i mean SURGERY ON AN ORANGE! yeee. the more i practice nursing.. the more i know i'm in the right place. right now, almost everything seems to be going amazingly well. ... cept the fact that i'm here.. writing on my blog.. instead of doing hw.. bahh. SM..get here soon. im going to get grumpy without my tea.

ya..

just one of those perfect nights to just lay on the grass and gaze at the sky.

- j

(my drawings rock your socks. lol)

MASS

dear life..

C = (F - 32) / 1.8

also, 1 qt = 2 pt = 4 cup = 16 fl oz

and, 15 ml = 1 T = 3 t

1lb = 16 oz.

mEq is used for ... eletrolytes such as magnesium, sodium etc. etc.

MASS exams sucks. esp when you've only studied 3/11 chapters ... lol I've decided to blog my memorization on here

qtt = drops
gr = grain
mL = millilitres
pt = pints

uhh too many to rmb. zZzzZzzz

- j

la vie en, rose?

persistence is key.

depending on what you want that is.

persistence in relationships is a no no. perseverance is key in relationships, but going back to someone that doesn't want you anymore, well I don't think that works. Or should I say, I know for a fact that doesn't work. giving them time in between works, but if you keep on pushing a brick wall without letting it crack first, than you're setting yourself up for failure.

this post is not on relationships though. its about life goals.

persistence is key when you want something sooooo bad. in five years, I want to be finished my degree, have an extensive list of work experience and I want to have applied for my masters degree.

however, things seem to keep on blocking the road to success. I've been lucky enough to be given chance upon chance to prove myself, although it seems with one rise, there is always a fall.

I feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain that is not at all steep. there are little hills on this mountain that I keep on going up and down as quickly as I see them, and it just feels like this flat surface. So flat that I'm pretty sure I'm not rising at all. the top of the mountain doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon. It's a huge uphill battle that seems like it's taking forever to reach.

I guess that's why there's being persistent. I can only hope that my attempts to persist and fight for my goals will work, and that I will be able to focus on the prize and prove to myself that I can do it. because.. I know I can. and, I know I'm fighting with good intentions.

*here's to hopes and dreams and accomplishing more in life than you though you could do. and here's to hoping that happy endings do come true.

(on a side note, I just made a wish on 11:11am (the time on the blog is diff from my time..wierdd..) for an email back from my faculty advisor, and then I got a msg on my bb that I received an email from her. unfortunately it wasn't THE email I was waiting for..but still trippy lol )

- j

something close to my heart.

I am a girl trying find her way, but at the end of the day, helping people is what I strive to do.

"An oncology ward is a battlefield, and there are definite hierarchies of command. The patients, they're the one doing the tour of duty. The doctors breeze in and out like conquering heroes, but they need to read your child's chart to remember where they've left off from the previous visit. It is the nurses who are the seasoned sergents--the ones who are there when your baby is shaking with such a high fever she needs to be bathed in ice, the ones who can teach you how to flush a central venous catheter, or suggest which patient floor kitchens might still have Popsicles left to be stolen, or tell you which dry cleaners know how to remove the stains of blood and chemotherapies from clothing. The nurses know the name of your daughter's stuffed walrus and show her how to make tissue paper flowers to twine around her IV stand. The doctors may be mappig out the war games, but it is the nuses who make the conlict barable."

-pg 229-230 My sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

- j