rire.

so i went back to read my prologue today.. and i wanted to tell you guys another story about my awkward laughing.

I was having a conversation with (let's call him) N. N was asking me questions, and we ended getting into an argument. I knew that he was getting mad, so i did what i usually do, which is laugh. ha ha ha. and .. well he was not too happy with my laughing. see, when i laugh, i make it so that i am joking around, to lighten the mood, however N having a huge stick shoved up his ass, told me that he took the laughing as if i was laughing at him. honestly, why are you so conscious of what other people think of you? do you not know how to joke or laugh? did you know that laughing can heal? and that if you are so serious all the time and let so many little things get to you and in the end you just turn away from everyone and everything who wants to be a part of you? i guess you don't know. that's why you had to give up. isn't it?

i have a client, and she has been through so much. she has be beaten so badly that she was unrecognizable, her children barely speak to her because they "have no time", she can barely walk on her own, but when i go to see her, she is smiling and laughing and joking around. I cannot understand how some people can let the world get to them so badly.. but i'm glad there are people that can laugh everything off, because at the end of the day, no one is laughing at you, but yourself.

i will live, laugh, and love, until i am blue in the face.

- j