lights.

*i just wanna run to you...

and break off the the chains and throw them away.

i need a savior...

- j

a random thought

So.. I've concluded.. That its always the ones that you think that you want.. That in the end.. You actually don't want.

Meaning...

I thought I wanted a .. Hmm actually I had no idea what I wanted. Oh ya.. Not a vietnamese guy. That's all I knew. Oh and then I thought to myself  "ya, I don't mind a guy who doesn't really have goals.."

But... I was wrong again. As much as personality can totally make you lust after a person and also looks.. It IS about everything else.

Hmmmmmmmmm. I feel so bad I haven't written much lately.. I haven't had much to talk about.. Maybe how I think that some people are utterly stupid and have the wrong perception of what the perfect guy is.. Like you know. Some girls just want a guy who's "perfect" meaning if he has a degree.. Good looking and is willing to buy you things.. Than that's perfect...

Or is it? Being book smart and having a degree doesn't guarentee that the person is going to be successful. I know lots of people from university working jobs that my other friends who have never went to post secondary are working.

Hmmm k I've decided I will post something a little later about close minded people.

Now.. I will go back to reading the time travellers wife :)

- j

lets give a warm welcome...

So everysooften... We welcome some new comers

Everyone... Say hiiii to sm!

- j

choices pt.2

investment three. (:

- j

nurses are the hope*

Think how rare is 'completeness' or 'wholeness' of mind and body. If each man finds good health a challenging goal, think how difficult it is. For the nurse to help him reach it she must, in a sense get 'inside the skin' of each of her patients in order to know not only what he wants but also what he needs to maintain life and regain health. She is temporarily the consciousness of the unconscious, the love of life for the suicidal, the leg of the amputee, the eyes of the newly blind, a means of locomotion for the infant, knowledge and confidence for the young mother, a voice for those too weak or withdrawn to speak, and so on... (Henderson 1955)

nursing quotes for the win. virginia henderson is a theorist that i'm researching for my case study. her 'theory' is the 14 fundamental needs. I found this one quote to be true. (:

- j

another one of those first impression topics.

"Some girls you see, the first thing that comes to mind is wow she'd make such an amazing girlfriend. Others you look at, you're just like "i'd soo eff her" " - sm

"For some guys after first impression of meeting a girl they put then into either friend category or possible girlfriend one. once that opinion is made, it's hard to change." -sm

okay. so me and sm are bored out of our minds and he likes to talk about the most random things. that's probably why we like to sit on the roof of parking lots and talk till the wee hours in the morning right? (damn you snow!) anyways. so back to the topic of first impressions. In sm's point of view.. its one or the other.. and from that point on, it rarely changes. (so guys point of view)

girls point of view, when I see a guy my first thought is, is he good looking or not. (so physical assessment..and yes, i am shallow to a certain extent. bite me.) whats his personality like. how is he dressed. if he gets those checked, then hes on the potential bf material. if he doesn't have all three checked, hes on the friends list. if he makes the first cut, he has to jump through the finances, dbag level.. and well. ya. everything else assessment. SO I guess.. unless they fit the first three.. they're in the friends zone.

sometimes however.. people grow on you. such as.. looks don't matter so much... esp when you find out their taste in music is EXACT as yours and they're the most easiest person to talk to. or something along those lines. I find that when the guy is in the friend's zone, he's much easier to talk to too. so that gives him 1up to other guys..cause the girl has already let her guard down. and he can woo her with what a cool guy he really is. i find that i've gone back on the whole friends thing for juuust a couple of minutes and said to myself.. hey.. he's acually..bf.. materi..a.... l? mmhmm.

but peoples opinions change all the time right? just gotta find the right mix of 'guy i'd love to lust' and 'guy that would make the perfect bf'. i think.. i hope this all made sense lol.

unfortunately though, personality doesn't always win. for guys.. i assume, if shes got the looks and no personality, shes a piece of meat. SO therefore.. sm.. i am going to find you a wife. so that you can stop chewing the pieces of yuck you've managed to attract. ya? good.

- j

chances.

A: wait for the investment.

(is known to be a stable, profitable investment. currently out of the market, but will eventually reprise its role in the market. unknown chance of coming back as a strong contender. 'i dont have a name for this one')

B: an unstable investment?

(small business, with high potential. needs more time to improve before can see a clear profit percentage. 'the inexperenced')

C: a profitable investment.

(stable, 100% profit. marketed well, however not as appealing as other high risk investments. 'safe choice' )

What to choose?

update - description.

also* choosing all three would lead to conflicting interests. so no. all three is not a choice.

- j

true story.

here's a little story about a cute little couple that i know.

How they found each other, I do not know.. But what I know, is that they found each other. They met a very long time ago. However they met, it was a blind meeting. Blind. They fell in love blinded.. With no sense of sight. But they fell in love with their other senses. They wrote letters. Letters of joy, letters of sadness... Letters of love. They met, they married. They travelled. One daughter. A dog. He loved her. He loves her. She loves him. He yells. She cries. He smiles. They smile. He calls her spoiled. She loves him. He will do anything for her. He watches football. She gardens. They have an adventure. They live. They grow old. They settle. He forgets. She loses weight. Their hairs turn. He is in denial. She has pain. He gets lost. She is confused. But he loves her. She loves him. Their daughter visits. She is happy. He is happy. Their daughter leaves. She complains. He is confused. She cannot get up. He says she is okay. She sits. All day. She sits. He loses things. Not her though. He will not lose her. She goes to the hospital. Finally. He goes with her. She is bleeding. He will not leave her. He fights. To be together. They let him stay. Stay with her. Because he loves her. And she loves him. He wrote a book. About their love. He won't lose her. He won't. She won't lose him. She won't. They're moving. To a safer place. .. But they stay together. Because they only have each other.

~ this isn't the notebook.. It's real life. Real love.

UPDATE: .. she is dying.. ):

- j

happy happy.

i was bored.

- j

lovers are losing.

i found my keane cd the other day and decided to give it another go.. i must say.. listening to it a second time is a charm. now.. i can't stop listening to it! whyyy did i delay listening to this record for soo long! boo :(

"you take the pieces of the dreams that you had, cause you dont like the way they seem to be going. you cut them up and spread them out on the floor, you're full of hope as you begin rearranging. put it all back together, but anyway you look at things, looks like, the lovers are losing."

this song + spiralling are my must haves for my daily commute everyday. ahh. music.. you are amazing. lol .. i guess i should start listening to the rest of the cd soon... mmMmm. happy days!

- j

ice cream

Gods throwing you snow balls and you're looking for that one ice cream scoop.. But you keep on getting snow balls.

- L2 on waiting for the right guy.

-j

thiis brings the lolz.

C: You should not pursue I

D: But he's soo cool

C: You should pursue O. You will never have to worry!

D: Whyy! he's not coool

C: But you had a huge crush on him AND you made out with him several times

D: so.. I don't care!

C: sluuuuttty.

D: No. I don't want to wake up every morning and go "ahhh fuuuck".

- j

past revisited.

so yesterday the plan was to stay at home and rest, but since I originally planned to stop by a party with L (and deliver her to the birthday boy haa haa haa) I decided to go.

The birthday boy is S. You may remember him from previous posts such as "first the worst". Well S is a good friend of the X, and most of the people at the party are all friends that I hung around with (before) and while I was dating X. Anyways.. I'm happy to say that things between me and X aren't awkward. I do miss him sometimes, mostly us hanging out.. But as a boyfriend.. We honestly aren't as compatible as I initially thought.

Before I left the party, I made my rounds to say goodbye. When I got to X, he gave me a hug.. And sorta held me for a bit and saying thank you to me for caring about his mom. And then he kissed me on the cheek. Aww. He was also intoxicated..

I was pretty.. Surprised by him doing that. But I was happy that he took my caring to heart. I told him that I was working in the hospital one day and in one of the patients room I saw a card. It was the same card that I gave X's mom a while back.. And after that, I kept on thinking about her. Really.. Cause one of the things I miss the most is his mom because she's such wonderful person.

This morning I couldn't get the past out of my head. It was so good to see everyone.. And even more amazing that me and X can get along so well. Mmm I hope that me and X will still be friends.. Even close ones if he decided to open up. If there's someone that I could be there for he's definitely one of those people.

Thanks for convincing me to go L. The first step to love is definitely showing a girl to your room.. So.. I guess we'll have to see what S does as the second step for you. Bwahaha. juuuuuust keeeding. ;)

- j

take care.

Why I am up and blogging I do not know... But word of advice.. Take care of yourselves! Drink lots of water, eat healthy, sleep enough, exercise and when you feel like a big piece of mushy poo go see a physician! .. I always say to myself.. It'll go away.. Or the pain isn't THAT bad .. Which isn't always the smartest idea.. Get things checked out. (Do it now before private health takes over!! Not that it will anytime soon.. Juust saying)

Time to go back to bed and rest. Feeling like poo sucks.

- j