falling out of love is hard.

shontelle - impossible

i remember years ago someone told to take caution when it comes to love.. i did.

tell them i was happy, and my heart is broken, all my scars are open.

...

even though you're not the one i dream of growing old with.. it still stings just a bit.

it's a hard knock life.

so many decisons.. so many fences...

we all mean well don't we? than why are we faced with all these barriers to jump?

you're supposed to be the one building a foundation for me. both of you. but this foundation you've provided has so many holes.. and we* can fill and fill and fill these holes up only so many times.. before they break down again.

argh. i am so frustrated. i should never have to experience your hardships. you're supposed to be the superheros. .. not me.

eargasms.

*also i've noticed a lot of the links do not work anymore.. if i actually dled music i would upload it on here for the 2 of your who still read this.. so my apologies :P

disregard this message.

i always have a love interest. always.. even if it's that one guy i know isn't the best idea but i still follow because it's the most affection i will received.. so i follow.

i dont know how i'm feeling right now.. i think i am pmsing to be honest. am i bored? really? is that why i am actually feeling that i have so much time on my hands..and that i don't feel like being interested in anyone..and the one person i actually decided to put the least amount of effort into..totally ..well it totally fell through..yes. let's talk about that.

have you ever met someone that you totally said no to.. and thought to yourself it would never work but when in reality you had a small connection with but you would never accept it? i never accepted it..not once. is he someone i would roll over and say oh fml what did i do? um.. i dont know. but i'm thinking about him.. and that's what gets me. is that i am actually thinking. and im getting mad about the fact that he didn't give me what i wanted. which was..some time. i wanted some time with him to confirm my feelings. but i never got that time. so what you're busy.. and ya. i had different motivations besides friendship.. but i really wanted to feel something with you okay? .. and yes i told you i had zero feelings for you..but unfortunately sometimes we realize too late that hey..maybe this person actually is a good idea.

so that's why i've been bitching at you and blowing up in your face. because i want time. and i've already told you that i might have feelings for you and you ignored me. lol.. i think i'm mostly upset because isn't this what you've wanted? and now that i am finally reciprocating..you're the one running away?...

i guess now i know how it feels. because i've done what you did in the past. full circle hey? i wish you would talk to me.. hmm. okay. now i will drop this. cause it is a waste of my time.

catch the mau5

but only if it's dead.

let's be unbalanced together.

it is after all, my fucking party.

where art thou?

i am so bored.

so bored i'm taking things for granted.

speaking of the truth..

you know what i like about lights? she sings about the truth. and she's real. she likes anime and video games.. and she has long poofy hair.. i looove poofy hair.

i was listening to this song with a friend once and my friend said "she thinks she's ugly.. isn't that why she sings 'how can you love me when i am ugly'?" i wanted to tell my friend that i am pretty sure she doesn't think she's ugly. i think it's more like a girl asking a boy how can he give her a chance..when she think's he is maybe too good for her? .. or that she isn't as pretty as every other girl the boy has to choose from. i know for sure every girl thinks that right? even the prettiest ones think that. sometimes i feel like i am not the prettiest girl.. i wake up and say wow why can't i be as skinny as so and so or why can't my eyes be bigger etc. i like how this song is about what a girl is thinking when she wants someone to acknowledge her. sort of everyone has that moment of low self esteem and that they're scared of rejection because no one is perfect.

there's this one quote from lady gaga in a rolling stones interview where she says "When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say, 'Bitch, you're Lady GaGa, you get up and walk the walk today." i like this quote.. cause even the most intimidating and risk taking celebrity in the world today has moments of being human.

"give me a second go, don't let me go alone.."

i guess we're all looking for acceptance for who we are right?

nothing special.

it took a best friend and a rooftop parking lot to make me understand that he's just like everyone else.

love the way you lie - eminem ft. rihanna

i made excuses for you, but you're sad and lonely. and i will not be at your disposal anymore.