the girl

city and colour

"you don't ask for no diamond rings, no delicate string of pearls, that's why I wrote this song to sing, my beautiful girl"

dallas green *swooon

going to see them tonight. third row seats. super stoked.

- j

a little advice.

when trying to find oneself a male counterpart, there's no better way to attract the opposite sex than to bluntly "go for the gold".

"just throw yourself at him
naked.
he'll like it
if he gets an errection, then he's interested
if not, time to move on." - ke

Go big or go home right? lol

- j

it's pronounced "eh-lll"

instead of being early for work, I decided to keep my promise to L.

your welcome. :) I know.. you can thank me later :D

- j

tatoo-Eeee

innnnklinnnnng.

So. seeing as though its been well over a year since I started my tattoo.. I think it's finally time I finish it. I don't have a picture of what it looks like right now, but I did find some pictures of how I would like it to be finished. (images via google; floral tattoo design)

As you can see, I'm a fan of the whole shading idea + a little bit of color. I have two lotuses on my back right now..but I'm going to go look for an artist to expand on what I have using these as references. I did the original drawing..so I don't mind having another artists work to complete it :D

so yeah. the goal is to get it finished sometime in october.. or november. hmm. now to find a new artist...

- j

You want what you will never have again

So I haven't posted in a while due to a lot of things happening. Its really depressing because now I barely have the chance to go out and drink. I Miss the times when I could leave my house at 9 p.m and come home at 8 a.m, but I don't think ill have that chance anymore well not for a while. I'm writing What's on my mind, but that's not the moral of this post.

People always want what they can't have, especially girls. But the thing is why do they want it after they've given up On it? That seems ironic. Yes you can say they realized it was a mistake, but that's not a good enough answer when the thing they wanted was there all along.
So recently, I started dating a girl, wow surprise I finally settled for someone. But yea, then my ex calls and she finds out... No big deal. A few days later I get a call from her, while I'm talking to my gf, not so cool. Its 2 a.m and she calls out of the blue, the main thing is she regrets not thinking things through Before letting go... Well that's too bad. Retard (her) " I wanted you to give me time and wait for atleast 6 months to a year", while she sees other dudes and I wait patiently day after day for her. Hell no do I look like a retard. So I tell her "I think you want what u can't have. It happens all the time in relationships, but Guess what... Surprise, its gonna happen again, I'm taken and happy. Good bye"

Another thing popped up over the weekend that was interesting. A previous prospect finds out I have a gf and freaks out. All she can say is I hate you So much... That's good for me because I don't want you bothering me. Now the surprise comes. She saids, "I'm happy for you, I'm not a home wrecker, BUT do you Think I'll ever have a chance. I like you so much and waited all this time." Uh girl u just said ur happy for me why would you ask something so dumb.

When girls have their chance, they never realize it, and when its too late they come running back in hope things have never changed. Well ill let out the secret, things Do change and people don't always wait. This isn't like the tv shows where mr. Whipped waits his lifetime for you, and things turn out to be perfect. This Is reality and In reality, real things happen. People do move on eventually, unless their plain stupid. So now that the truth is out, guys and girl, I hope you cherish what You feel is important to you, because things do and will change, and when you want it to turn back, it may be to late.

J2

this week.

okay.. so last week was a pretty tough week.

DEAR SL.. I REALLY DISLIKE YOU, YOU CONDESCENDING HAG.

phew. got that out.

so this week's goal is to be as best prepared as i possibly can be for clinical to prove that two faced too tanned cancer stick sucking bitch wrong. :)

ALSO.

tminus 3 days till city and colour.

tminus 4 days till deadmau5.

this week will be amazing i tell you. AMAZING.

ALSO.

L looks good naked. trust me. ;) YOUR welcome L

- j

ignorance.

my thoughts exactly.



"you treat me just like, another stranger, well it's nice to meet you sir, I guess I'll go, I'll best be on my way out. Ignorance is your new best friend. Ignorance is your new best friend."

paramore.

they're amazing in concert.

- j

smile.

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again.. Hugging my teddy bear.. Playing in the yard and scared of little monsters. My parents hugging me... And. Just... Being oblivious to anything and everything. Smiling because .. Just because I can.

But I'm not a kid. And sometimes I smile, just to stop the tears.

Life does not imitate art and no, snow patrol does not start playing in the background after a surgery.

People get hurt everyday, people need help every day. Everyday people give up their own lives to keep others safe and breathing.

Tears, sweat, blood.. Everyday. This happens, and all of this happens.. So that everyday someone can smile.

If I can't help myself, the least I can do is help someone else. Right? ... Wow emosauce lol.

- j

(Note: grey's anatomy ... That's all I have to say)

just one of those nights.

amazing weather for september. 34 degrees?! who would have thought.. butt i spent my day working, schooling, and now sitting in kc trying not to do my hw and waiting for SM to bring me my tea. SOoo tired. i would much rather you get me something to eat SM. !!! but.. i guess we're on the same plane of epic fail at saving monies together.

i was driving down my neighbourhood (before i embarked on my journey to campus) and i dont think i saw as many people walking outside during the summer than i did today. it was like.. everyone wanted to take in the last bit of nice weather before autumn decides to finally set in. mmm. it was warm.. toasty.. quiet.. relaxing.. blah. lol. the sky was slowly turning to night and i could see the twinkling of twilight. (ahHAHhahha.. i just HAD to say that.. HAD TO.) anyways.. the starry night reminded me of something.

this one thing. that has been bothering me for the past couple of days and that's probably going to give me a hernia. mmmmm. ya. epic fail right L? can't stop thinking about it. it sorta gets in the way of everything. well not EVERYTHING. but.. its.. restricting in some ways. but i guess that's my own fault ...?

i'm so glad i have work and school to keep my mind super occupied. and by super.. i mean SURGERY ON AN ORANGE! yeee. the more i practice nursing.. the more i know i'm in the right place. right now, almost everything seems to be going amazingly well. ... cept the fact that i'm here.. writing on my blog.. instead of doing hw.. bahh. SM..get here soon. im going to get grumpy without my tea.

ya..

just one of those perfect nights to just lay on the grass and gaze at the sky.

- j

(my drawings rock your socks. lol)

qu`oaat

A: R's the only one I've needed to use... "Support" with..

B: uhh meaning..

A: let's just say sometimes.. The truck is too big for the tunnel

B: ...

A: ...

That was just tooo good. Toooo good.

- j

in the words of my homeslice, J2

"prince charming isn't coming cause he's in toronto, taken."

- j

dearest L

hiatus is over. ;)

MK + ticket to mexico = 200 points.

C + MK + me + you + mexico = EPIC.

- j

stoked.

dear life, I am going to sacrifice sleep for this.



deadmau5 ft Rob Swire - Ghosts 'n' Stuff

oct 1 show till 2am + 7am clinical the next day. woot

havn't been to the show in soo long. soo stokedddddd.

& W if you make the deadmau5 mask you will be my hero.. ONLY if you make it glittery tho :)

- j

lazy eye.

looooove this song.

silversun pickups - lazy eye.

- j

l'automne.

The leaves are falling, the wind is howling... Oh I know. I am sooo poetic.

Autumn is my faaaavorite season. Its something in the air about family, love, excitement for the gradual ending of another year. See there's thanksgiving, then halloween, rememberence day, christmas thenn finally new years eve. I guess we can add exams in there too and the oh so awesome first fall of snow.

One of my favorite things about this season is when the leaves turn. Red yellow orange brown.. All the warm colors + that first hint of coolness in the air, makes you just want to cuddle up against the fire place with a nice big mug of hot chocolate (a london fog for me thank you) annd your loved one and a biiiiiiig blankie and just relax. Siigh lol I know.. I'm such a romantic lol. (I think I just heard L puking somewhere..lol)

Can't wait to try and convince my friends to go and take pictures at 97st where the trees change so beautifully.. Its actually amazing how something so pretty can be right outside my door.

Autumn is my happy season :) and the best part? Playing my favorite autumn game around campus: find the biggest, driest, crunchiest leaf... and STEP ON IT! *crunch*

I'm a kid at heart what can I say :)

- j (image via google; autumn leaves)

the point system

dear L.

you're lucky I'm planning to go on hiatus.

188 > 38

catch me if you can. bitch. (:

- j

the vampire diaries

"dear diary,

I met a boy. We talked. It was epic. Then... reality set in."

"dear diary,

I'm scared. I'm scared that if I let myself be happy just for one second, the world will come crashing down on me."

"dear diary,

love bites."

- j

(the quotes might be a little off but..who's really listening. & images via google: old diary)

hmmmmMm.

what to write about.. what to write about..

life. when life gets in the way.. what do you do..

sooOoo. within the past.. month, I've experienced things that ..well I guess I never thought I would. I've made decisions, and decisions. Had endless conversations about life and what I want to do with it.. and. well. here I am. confused as a goose. actually. I'm not confused.. I think I know what I want, it's just.. how to get there..that's the question.

me and L decided that we would write a journal. Every year around the same time, we'll write what has happened in the past year, and what we thought would have happened. well that's confusing.. k example.

this time last year I was: dating someone, chilling, content, in a straange place, situation with some friends were messed, but I was in school and content. this year: i'm single, very into school, pretty happy, and waiting for what's to come. next year: I hope that I'm doing amazing in school, and umm maybe happily in luuurve. (wow cheesieee) lol.

it's just really interesting to see how totally different our lives have become from what we thought they would turn out to be. and its pretty fun too. just to look back and go. OHH NOOO.. whyyy did i do that lol.

I'm so busy with school and work its hard to find time to think..

- j

eta: 1yr

If things are meant to be, they will unfold naturally.

Meet me in the middle?

And by the middle, I mean nightfall, a grassy hill, clear skies and a shooting star.

Hopeful wishing never hurt anyone. :T

- j

affection.

You know what's the worst? When you order an egg and bacon mcmuffin when really you wanted to order an egg and sausage mcmuffin. Epic faaaaaaiiil.

I know a lot of people who have mainly physical relationships. Hmm. I guess that's what you're exposed to when you grow up hey? Its surprising to me how many people can do the whole no strings attached thing, cause honestly there are always strings. ALWAYS. They're just hidden.

Even though physical relationships do bring 'sexy times!!!!!', its nice just to have someone there.. Like to cuddle with. Yaaaay for cuddling. Affection.. There we go. It is affection I think that's harder to go without than 'sexy timesss!!!!' You know babies when they're first born crave affection? That bond that they are exposed to by touching and cuddling affects their psychosocial development. Mmhmm! So the more they are exposed = the healthier their development.

But as I was saying, we've just been so exposed to the other types of relationships that we assume and judge things based on the most scandalous situations we can think of. But hey.. Makes for great gossip right?

Hmm. I guess I just wanted to say that it is possible to have a relationship with someone that doesn't involve any physicalities (lol yaa is that a real word?). Annd its just. Affection. Its really nice to have. Like holding hands and hugging. (Although there is perception that holding hands is a sign of insecurity.. Thoughts?!) Affection is. Really. nice. And .. Ya. lol Mmmmm.. It's one of those things that you never want to end.

- j

o9o9o9

Here are nine things about yours truely that you never thought you knew!

o1 Sometimes I talk to random people to relieve awkward tension
o2 I like to pick the cute dorky ones to talk to cause I think they would be the least likely to judge me
o3 I am actually gigi from 'he's just not that into you'
o4 I am also ted from 'how I met your mother'
o5 Awkward wierd abnormal things intrigue me
o6 If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be to have a faster metabolism so I could eat more
o7 I'm a huge scardy cat and I have no balls so L and J2 are my cheerleaders.. If it wasn't for them I'd be too scared to do a lot of things
o8 I purposely say/do silly things to get a smile out of someone
o9 One of my life goals was to be a stay at home mom, but now my ambition has changed and only a select few people know what it is :)

Niight.

- j

flow.

"I don't like to do things I don't understand"

Well. Is everything we do something we understand? Nothing is for certain, we only think the way we do because our society paves the way we think...

A friend of mine told me that he didn't like relationships because they didn't make sense to him ... He said he doesn't like doing things he doesn't understand and relationships require too much effort to understand... Or are just not something that's set in stone.

That.. Is bull. Way to put a wall up. That's the point, to not understand. Its to feel.. To know that even though things around you don't make sense, you still are willing to try... And you want to learn and understand each other.

Can't go with the flow if the flow isn't moving!

Wow this was random. Every time my friend and I have lunch we always go back to this topic..

I guess j'dub is gonna be alone foreverr

- j

Fairytales and Reality

I would like to start by thanking L in writing her first post. I've seen her, met her and talked to her. She's cool.

But back to my regular blogs. Is it true that all girls want to live that fairytale they heard when they were young, or are some just more hopeful then others? I've asked many girls and all of them say they want to live the fairytale story, where they are in a desperate situation, but guess what... no way... it can't be... Prince Charming/Perfect/Nonexistent comes and sweeps them off their feet and saves them from the misery they currently experience, and everything ends perfectly.
How often does this happen? I don't know, I don't know everyone in the world, but from my experience less then 1% of the time.

I was asked by a realist girl, "How long do you think we will be together?"
What would any normal person say... "Forever", but nope. She's a realist so why say something stupid where she is going to debate about. I told her, "As long as your will to try with me"
Then the topic turns into fairytales. She asks if I'm that perfect guy from cinderella who would search the whole kingdom to give her back her shoe.
God damnit girl your a realist why are you asking the most ironic questions. In my mind, kingdom = my house. If your in my house I'll find you, if not see you when I do.

J2

last night..

so last night, while I was on my way home from dinner with my family, I came across a road obstruction. Now, when I first approached the scene, I saw a couple of cars blocking the road..and my initial thought was.. w-t-f.
As I drew nearer to the scene, I realised that.. there were pieces of human flesh all over the road.

oh my fuck. is that a corpse? where are the legs? OH MY FUCK. IS THAT A PERSON?! .. they didn't have a face?!! holyyy shit. OMGOMGOMGOMG.

so that conversation went on for a good 15 minutes between my sister and I. wow. after getting home, my other sister stopped by the scene to see what was going on. by that time the body had been covered and word through the grape vine said it was a hit and run.

so, being a nursing student, I SHOULD be able to handle these kinds of situations right?! NOPE. wrong. after I got home, I was pretty freaked out. my mind pretty much welcomed all thoughts of death, accidents, suicides.. you name it.

the "breaking story" that night on the 11 oclock news was a hit and run, by two cars where an elderly pedestrian was killed. the cars that were stopped there saw the body and closed off the intersection. heartbreaking actually. the first car to hit the body sped off into the night...

Now, I make it my duty to avoid using my cell phone when I drive. I try not to speed, and I for sure am going to avoid driving if I'm really tired. Accidents happen.. but its not everyday that you see CSI in your neighbouring hood.

This morning on my way to work I saw a dead cat on the road. it brought back memories of last night. I don't know how I'm going to handle emerg. but.. I guess that's just life right?

UPDATE: here's a link to the story if anyone was intersted :P

http://www.globaltvedmonton.com/world/Woman+killed+Edmonton/1972646/story.html

- j

(image via google; don't drink and drive)

L's contribution

Happily ever after

So j asked me to contribute to her blog. Now i’m definitely not one to be very vocal about my feelings so i had no idea what to write. But since this blog seems to be mostly talking about love and relationships i guess i shall stick with this topic.
As j has mentioned, i attended a wedding last month. Actually i was a bridesmaid so i got to be behind the scenes, which means i got to experience all the work and drama that goes into the perfect day. I’ve attended many weddings before and although this is the first where i’m a bridesmaid, i have yet to experience one where so many things went wrong before. This couple had so much to deal with, from family drama to the bakery making the wrong cake! I tried my best to help them in any way i can cause they are the last two people in the world to have their day ruined. At the end of it all, their wedding day was nothing short of perfect. And it was then i realized something.

As much as the people around them scrambled to right all the wrongs, it really didn’t matter. I’ve seen this couple go through so much in the years they’ve been together and all they really wanted was to be married...to show all their friends and family how strong their love was for each other....how committed they were to each other...to show that no matter what the world has thrown at them, they’ve survived through it all. Cause there would be no point for them to exist without the other. I have never felt so happy for a couple to be married and they’ve taught me what true love really is. Their day was perfect, not because the cake was right, the weather was perfect, or the hall looked perfect. None of those really mattered...it was perfect cause they were so happy to begin the rest of their lives with each other.

8 months ago, my 4 year relationship ended. We didn’t end on bad terms and i have tons of respect for him. He knows that at the end of the day i am here for him. A couple months ago i would consider getting back together but after this wedding i know i can’t. I have finally seen what true love really looks and feels like. I don’t think i deserve the best out there...i know i’m not the best catch myself. But the love i shared with my ex was nothing close to what this couple has. The worst part is that i know we could never have that in the future either. And i think everyone deserves to experience that. But i’m in no rush...my time will come. And so the journey begins again...except this time i know what my happily ever after looks like.

- L

thannkks.

hmm I just spoke to J2's lady and she seems very sweet. yay for you J2 :)

well I'd like to say I fell off of the smart wagon for a bit there and almost fell into a deep deep hole. but.. BUT because I'm that cool, (and cause J2 is my caveman) I've gotten back on. goodbye wave, hello wall :) .. actually.. hello not overthinking? haha :P noone want's to get hurt..everr. so being cautious is always a good idea. mmmm yaa. that's all. I've sorted stuff out. now I can study in peace.

- j

this one's for L.

suchhh a cool video. these guys are pretty sweet. I wanted to post pictures from SonicBoom but I can't edit the photos on this computer :( boo. but nonetheless, totally worth getting rowdy in the mosh pitt for these guys.

*franz ferdinand - can't stop feeling.

- j

techno.

lol ohh SY. You've opened a door of endless nights of watching strongbad emails.

this brings the LOL's. & the funniest part,

it's SOOOOO true.

- j

forwardly backwards

What do you do when you're in limbo? Take a chance and ride the wave? Or stop, turn around and keep that wall up? Je ne c'est pas. Maybe I will just wait. wait. and wait.

Damn you Edward Cullen. Why did you have to be fictional.

- j

(photo via google, edward cullen)

End of mind games

Hey, I haven't posted in a while but I woke up early, like 6 a.m early after a whole night drinking because
My bro is snoring so damn loud I swear he's shaking the earth with each breath.
But yea, I was told by a great pick up artist, that no matter what you will always be playing mind games. In
Order to keep a fling, relationship and marriage interesting, mind games must be played. So being the student,
I continue to show guys that no matter who the girl is, they can be played or manipulated.

An earlier prospect I had recently begun ignoring me. That was fine with me. I thought she ignored me because she
Found out I was interested in someone else. So I get a random msg from her and she is talking like we still talk...
Well guys what do you do?

1. Talk to her like normal
2. Ask if she msg the wrong person
3. Ignore her
4. Tell her she's retarded

Well, I chose 4 and if u can figure it out then you don't need to read this post no more.

This is going to be my last post on mind games, so I'll tell you the reason I thought 4 was the best
Out of all of them.

The girl msgs u so she is still interested.
If you give in by doing the norm, you'll be labelled as easy
Since you haven't talked to her for a while, you got to have some way of starting a convo, and since she was the one to msg, she will not ignore you

J2

MASS

dear life..

C = (F - 32) / 1.8

also, 1 qt = 2 pt = 4 cup = 16 fl oz

and, 15 ml = 1 T = 3 t

1lb = 16 oz.

mEq is used for ... eletrolytes such as magnesium, sodium etc. etc.

MASS exams sucks. esp when you've only studied 3/11 chapters ... lol I've decided to blog my memorization on here

qtt = drops
gr = grain
mL = millilitres
pt = pints

uhh too many to rmb. zZzzZzzz

- j

public service announcement

"Omg I was sooooooo drunk."

Ya most of us have done it. Used alcohol as an excuse for something stupid we did. I know I have... But I usually said "ommmgg I'm so dumb I can't believe I did that...sooo sorry! But oh well! I'm drunk! Let's go party! ..."

That was the good case scenario. Now girls girls girls... You girls who are unable to control yourselves.. Especially around those who we shall call 'untouchables'. Ill be honest, I've kissed an untouchable before... Not a smart move. Luckily..my friends don't hold it against me. However, never have I ever used the phrase 'I'm soo drunk' when I actually wasn't.

I don't know why some people do that. The whole not being man enough to take responsibility for your actions and blaming alcohol. That boggles my mind. Trust me friends, it is not cool and it doesn't lead to good consequences (and it especially does not leave you with a good rep).

Untouchables are ex's, friends siblings/cousins, enemies, friend's gf or bf. Yaa not cool. And if you do, fess it up. Be a good person and take responsibility if you've hurt someone while doing the no no (as should the other party involved). Believe me, playing dumb will haunt you foreeevvverrr!!!!

This announcement has been long overdue. And karma likes to work in mysterious ways.*cue spooky music* So if you've got a confession to make, better now than never!

- j

(totally wrote this a couple of weeks ago.. forgot to post it ..heh.)

je ne c'est pas.

surprisingly I woke up for clinical today.. mmmm I had a nice sleep last night.

soo J2 & I were talking about our master plan to lure love into our hearts. however, because I am not master mind game player like he is, I was unable to stick with the plan, and I decided to play the game the way that I am able to.. meaning.. no mind games.. just.. me. being me and seeing how that goes.

hopefully it doesn't backfire on me. I mean... I'm not going to try and trick someone into liking me because they truely can't be with me if I stop talking to them for a weekend. why test someone? right? if you keep on playing mind games with someone, it's just going to confuse your brains till your eyes go green. does that even make sense? mmm good love is love that doesn't need to be tested. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in love.. I just like the idea of it. I'm the little mermaid rmb? :)

I know of one couple and they are soo in love. soooo in love, that they got married. the way that the husband looks at his wife, and considers her feelings and takes care of her, brings disney to shame. he adores her. that's what it should be like. (unless you're a manly man like L lol... heh heh heh oh man.. L, you're a whole other post waiting to be written.....you are the exception :D)

yeeep. so instead of taking my much needed nap, I posted. woo hoo. time to go sit and study for MASS on tues.

- j

(image via google; i adore you)

my hero, b'net.

J: What? I don't think my bb has gps

B: Yaa every bb has gps

J: Cool!

B: Are you going to follow me on my gps

J: Noo that's creepy!

B: See look! I can see where buddie is

J: Wooooowww that's creepy! I wouldn't want people to know where I am all the time

B: Yaa and then u can put a default location too

J: Whatt?!

B: Yaa that's what you do when u visit your mistress ;)

J: :O!!!!! Omggg! I can't believe you!!!

Loool ohhh b'net. I thought you were an angel lol

- j

j & l conversation

A: Guy two is pretty cute

B: *shrug*

A: Who's cuter guy one or guy two

B: *shakes head*

A: So which one's cuter?

B: Neither..

A: soo *turns to guy two* heyyy


Lol it was much funnier when L tells the story lol

Also....

A server just told me that I look like sandra oh...

Ya...

- j

wonderful, i am.

"looking for something crazy
beautiful nothing
now im talking in circles again
never no baby are you hungry
for wonderful cause i am
wonderful cause i am"
- Lady GaGa

Hmm.. Prospect...

Tall, smart, cute, athletic, reads anime AND eats chicken wings with a fork?!

It feels like a scene out of grease. Summer lovin' than, he leaves.

T-minus 12 days. :(

- j