fundraisers..

so tonight i'm going to the nait fundraiser for prostate cancer...

well see.. i actually don't really want to go because.. it's the C's (the bf) friends event and also my sisters friends event but my sister isn't going.. so i'm feeling a little.. weird without her being there..

anywho they're auctioning off bachelors and bachelorettes to the public to raise money for prostate cancer..

a good cause i'd like to say. considering prostate cancer isn't something as easily diagnosed as something  like breast cancer is..so more research into screening programs would be beneficial to all those homies that have a prostate gland. (but rmb, if urinating starts to feel like you're shooting out fire.. go see a doctor my homies..)

anyways.. going back to the fundraiser.. do you think that sexuality is being used so much as a part to raise money for many causes? does that mean that the public is drawn in by sexuality/ the opposite sex and thats one of the main reasons why they're willing to pay up for such a cause? cause really.. if it was just a dinner and dance.. ya okay i'd still go. a bake sale? ehh.. probably wouldn't buy anything.. auction for something else? perhaps. actually im going cause  C said "take work off that night" and i was like.. "uh okay.." 

mmMmm i have nothing against fundraisers. hey the more we raise money for these illnesses..the more we'll be able to help those who have already been diagnosed right?

however.. i really do hope money goes into prevention programs and awareness programs for other diseases such as sti's or breast cancer..or lung cancer.. cause it's not only the research in curing these diseases that will stop the epidemic from coming. 

lalalallalalalalalalallaalalalla. i like to write. thanks SY.. i think you've given me inspiration to start writing more.. even if most of my posts are super random lol (:

- j (image via google; share bear)

suck'a m c!

time sucks.

actually, impatience sucks.

actually.. a lot of things suck. but what sucks the most.. is actually caring about things. GOD. do i hate caring. that's why im a very.. "whatever" type of person. meaning.. well if it doesn't need to be attended to.. why bother thinking about it? right? like.. if i think about something that really IS SUCH A SMALL THING..than i will have grey hairs and be stressed out about so many things in life. easy going? ya. i'd like to call myself that. so.. when I say things.. I intend on saying them in an easy going manner..because really.. people will say what they want to say..and I couldn't really give to pieces of poo what they're saying. whatever right? why waste my time getting mad over something..when in my mind..i know i mean well.. and those that i really care about feel that way too.

okay.. and ya.. so what everyones judging you. yeah sure. but don't you ever see that it's the people that you judge outwardly first.. are those that end up being made coal on the inside? right? no offense people.. but beautiful a LOT of the time is only on the outside. 

being bias or prejudice against someone because of things you hear.. sucks. 

OH YOU KNOW WHAT ALSO SUCKS. fake people. who you talk to ... feel like you have an understanding of.. and grow a trustful relationship with.. who turn out to be just huge jerk offs in the end. 

some people. seriously.. care way too much about superficial opinions. HENCE. why.. i am alll ALL ALL ALL. about whatever comes from the inside.

the superficial. ugh.

sometimes i think i talk just to hear myself speak. or in this case.. blog. blah.

- j

i love you?

if you were my blackberry, this is what you would see...

j: What if
j: I'm falling
j: No! Its too soon!
j: Then again I've known him for 9 yrs..
j: But still!!
J2: Ur gay
J2: Just be happy
j: I am
j: Wahh
j: Too happy
j: In love?
j: Nooo
j: In love .. Am I in love? I don't think so
j: I'm falling.. In like
j: Yaa
j: I'm falling in like with him!
j: But.. Because I have too much pride.. Ill wait till he says something first
j: (:
J2: Just say it
j: Huh?
j: Oh
j: Ya maybe one day
J2: Say it
j: Say what?
J2: Say it to him
j: That I'm in like with him?
j: Ill tell him next time we have a slumber party
J2: That u love him
j: But
j: I donno if I do..
J2: why wouldn't u
j: Too soon to tell?
j: Maybe I do
j: Maybe I just don't know cause its too soon!
j: ?*
J2: I said it
j: And look where you are now :P
J2: Lol
J2: Loser
J2: I hate u
j: <3

i think.. im falling..

Or am I?

Wow I haven't blogged in a very long time.. Ptobably cause I've been busy with school and now, the bf. Woow. The bf.. Its been pretty nice actually. For sure J2 likes the bf. "He's my long lost brother" .. Greeeaaat. Lol jk.. I'm glad you approve J2.. And you too L.

Its funny how bf and J2 are so similar.. Cause me and J2 know that we could never date each other.. But when it comes to finding the right person.. We want someone who is sinmilar to each other.

Or OR or.. Maybe its cause I've found someone willing to put in equal amounts of effort as me.. (: hurrah

As for J2.. Someone here needs to find him a nice girl. Ya. Someone mature and cute and fun? Or else he's going to resort to sexy times with a 30 year old .. Cougar? Hmm maybe not cougar.. But she's definitly ripe. 

Lalala daily ramblings while I take the bus home..

- j

bedrest.

I got my influenza shot + H1N1 shot last Wednesday but it takes 2 weeks before I am fully protected...

Head ache, light headedness, fatigue, slight cough, hot flashes, cold chills...

I better wake up tomorrow flu-less or I will be sooo choked :(

.. Wish my PB was here to give me a *feel better hug.

hmm. Go away H1N1. No one wants you here!

- j

the listening.

*here's an acoustic version of this song by lights. ~ this song.. just explains everything.

Please excuse me, I'm not thinking clear
It must just be stress
But I likely shouldn't be here, I'm such a mess

I never really ever know what to say
When all of my emotions get in the way
I'm just trying to get us on the same page 

I always get it better right afterward
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey

Wish I could explain The things that I have to work out
I don't feel right
What has come over me, I'm about
To lose my mind

I never really ever know what to say
When all of my emotions get in the way
I'm just trying to get us on the same page (Wish I could explain)

I always get it better right afterward
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey
Wish I could explain

Can I let the trees do the talking
Can I let the ground do the walking
Can I let the sky fill what's missing
Can I let my mouth do the listening, the listening

I never really ever know what to say
When all of my emotions get in the way
I'm just trying to get us on the same page

I always get it better right afterward
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey

Wish I could explain
What I mean to say

- j