if you really knew me.

Have you ever seen the show on mtv called 'if you really knew me'? I watched it the other day and bawled my eyes out. It's so true, because you don't know very much about a lot of your friends. You know.. you only have and idea of what they are superficially because let's face it.. none of us really allow others to see our weaknesses right? And we all judge through superficial actions that our friends perform in front of us.

When I went to mexico with L, S and Zeek we played a game called..'So tell me about your life'. Whenever we would have quiet time or were just laying in our rooms doing nothing.. one of us would start talking about our lives.. it usually started out with 'I was born (insert location)," and then what schools we attended and then we would talk about our families. That was probably one of my favorite things about our trip.. learning more about my friends. It kinda sucks though..cause right now.. the girls and the guys aren't really talking.. I guess some of us learned more about each other during that week than we intended to.. and it sorta hurt our relationships in the end...

So.. really I don't know much about my friends. I kinda have this thing about asking people about their family situations.. and I think it's because I don't really like talking about my own situation. It is.. complicated you know? but.. I know if I really trust my friends.. Only to a select few I am willing to let the wall down and talk about my family to them. Its weird. Like L, I'm sorry I don't ask more about any of your family stuff if you have any.. I think it's cause if something is really going on you know I'm here for you and I think asking people over and over if they're okay is kind of .. intruding? ... perhaps. However, for other friends.. it would be nice to know more about them than just hanging out with them.. I like talking to people.

So if you really knew me.. you would know that I like people. I am an overly emotional cancer and I tend to back off a lot of the times because I am indecisive and I don't want to intrude/be annoying/rude etc .. that's why I am very flaky. And I over think things.. like no tomorrow. And I get annoyed a lot.. okay.. now I am over thinking this...

So tell me something about yourself.. if you want to.