i have control over being messy. you don't.

i think i'm going crazy.

i feel like everyone has issues. well everyone does. but learning about all of this mental health stuff is just eating at me. i want to help everyone.. but after i thoroughly think about it for a good day, i get scared, back off and leave it as is. wow.. what a great nurse right? it's so much easier to help someone you don't know than someone you care about. the first step to recovering is feeling low.. and with everyone in my life.. i get scared to talk to them or confront them. maybe because i have a terrible way of letting them know i care. i like to yell, i like to shout, i like to make it seem that i know better and they are not living up to my expectations. and that.. is wrong. is this the beginning of my life as a nurse? feeling as though i've failed everyone because i cannot seem to get the courage to fix my surroundings? people who want to be helped are much easier to assist..

i can't even help myself. why is this such a big question mark? i am over thinking again. why can't i just be happy and go about without worry?